February 03, 2009


Last week, when I decided to approach my spiritual walk in a different way, I woke up the first morning and just laid in bed thinking, what today Lord? Where do you want me to start? What do you have to teach me?

This is new for me. I usually would have turned to a daily devotional, began a study series on a specific book of the Bible or tried, again, to begin a Read the Bible in One Year program. I would have had in mind some areas I wanted to work on or things in my life I needed to pray about.

But not that morning. Instead, I asked. I was trying to focus, listening hard, opening my mind, being very still and meditative. Then the dogs noticed my brain waves had changed from "asleep" to "awake," which is apparently their cue to jump on the bed and start licking me. I tried to ignore them and stay focused. After all, this was my time, and God was going to speak to me and I was determined to listen until He did! Ummm, have I mentioned I sometimes try to control things?

After a minute or so, I gave in and crawled out from under the covers, much to the delight of two frisky puppies. As I was pulling on my Uggs, it crossed my mind. DEUTERONOMY. Say what? DEUTERONOMY.

[shrug] Not exactly what I was expecting. But, okay.

After the dogs were outside where they were only slightly less distracting, I started skimming through the book of Deuteronomy, looking for something to catch my eye or tug at my heart.

Six chapters in, it did: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

Yeah, yeah. I recognize that one... keep going. Though, as I continued through the book, I found myself flipping back over to 6:5. There was something about the simplicity and familiarity.

Ah yes. I remember. Slooooww dooown. Get back to the basics.

Maybe I've not yet learned to really love my God. I know I believe in Him. I trust Him. I rely on Him, pray to Him, praise Him, seek Him. But do I really really know what it is to love Him? With all my heart and soul and strength? Have I ever really gone that deep? Or have I only known Him on the surface?

This week I've been thinking about this verse and these questions. I've been thinking about how this journey will lead me to a complete and fully committed love for my Savior, and what that might feel like. How the beginning may be understanding what is the goal: To love, revere, obey, serve and commit to my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength.

Goals for the week:
  • Be still and listen
  • Get up every morning for quiet time before work
  • Start reading The Practice of the Presence of God
  • Resist the urge to list ten more goals and instead focus on one thing at a time

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