February 02, 2009

LIGHT

Selah is a Hebrew word that is used to signify the pause at the end of a line of a hymn before the next line begins. It is a moment for waiting and gathering, an instant of suspended alertness that shapes what is to come.

I've been inspired and encouraged by an old friend to start writing about my spiritual journey, such that it is. Which, honestly, has been scattered and sporadic, disjointed and overwhelming, and not always fully committed. I try. I'm always trying. But I realized that one of my biggest obstacles has been that I try to take in everything rightthissecond Iwanttobecompleteandmature and knoweverything and memorizeandpractice and walkthewalk and readeverybook and prayeveryprayer Right. Now. So every time I start a focused spiritual search, I get excited and, well, my brain eventually turns to skittles. I try to shove too much in to a small space. I miss important things. I lose focus. I get lost in the process. I don't know where I am or where to go next. I try to control it.

This old friend, our paths crossed again. . . I can not even say how I felt when I figured out why. Reading her words. . . I blinked, and breathed. . . that's it, I thought, slooooowww doooowwn. I don't have to Get It All this week. Just Stop. and Listen. This will be a lifelong journey. It is meant to be a lifelong journey.

I'm not exactly sure what direction these posts will take (or this journey for that matter), but I'm hoping that, as my friend puts it, this form of accountability will help me be more intentional about my seeking. I have to think about what I write; which means - I'll have to think about what I write.

Regular nonsense posting will continue, of course. Bussey World is not complete without a little nonsense now and then.

Selah.

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