happy thoughts

oatmeal. playing on Granny’s porch in the summer. Olympic emotions. love songs. spending the day with my precious niece. snowy landscape making a familiar drive dreamy and new. cousins giggling. sister as hairdresser. paper hearts. new adventures. stretching. long drives together. polka dot jammies. the hiding game. sharing clothes. bread baking. a new cookbook. love stories. finding courage. Temple Grandin. chocolate cake. Mario Kart. naps. toddlers’ talking. quiet time. the perfect cup of coffee. dance party. giving something up. funny text messages. sunrise. cards in the mail. sewing. un-conforming. planning a garden. paper heart crafts. old photos. reminiscing. reconnecting. remembering...

note to self

Oh self, how this world tempts me to control!
To curl finger tips to palm and dig in with self-centeredness, pride, foolish wisdom;
clench fists tightly around darkness.

Oh self, give it up!

When my hands are closed, so it is with my heart.

He laid open his palms for the greatest sacrifice, the ultimate act of love;
then reached out, offering scars so others would believe.

Oh self, give it up!

Father, I have sinned.
Held fast to this need for control;
Lived blindly with the illusion that I could control what is yours;
Given myself freely to it, and bound up with the enemy;
These hands, this heart, closed, unable to truly receive you,
How many opportunities have I missed to wash feet?

Yet, I come now, under merciful grace,
press palms together,
now lay open wide,
offer myself freely to you, a living sacrifice.

Oh self, give it up, this prison of worldly control,
uncurl fingers to find the key,
hold light in your hands,
and live in the freedom of open.