Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.
~Tagore
Have I ever told you, dear Internet, about the day this sweet girl was born?
My brother called me around 1 a.m. to tell me they were at the hospital. I was five hours away, and it was sleeting… so it was decided I ought not leave and drive five hours in the middle of the night on icy roads. So I waited as patiently as I could, pacing with excitement, taking a shower and packing my bag, calling my Mom for updates… Finally, 6 a.m. rolled around, the hour I would leave. About five minutes before I was to walk out the door, my Mom called… she was standing outside the delivery room… the baby was close, so close… then she said, It's here! We can hear it crying, it's here, it's here!
I completely broke down. I could hear my Dad laughing with joy… a few moments later my brother poked his head out to announce, "We got ourselves a little girl." I will never forget that moment. In one instant I was overwhelmed with total joy, and completely devastated that I wasn't there.
I was a mess. I thought for sure I was going to feel a huge weight of regret for the rest of my life that I was not standing in that waiting room the moment my first niece was born. I wanted to BE there, I wanted to see my brother's face as he became a father…
Five hours later I was holding the sweetest little baby I had ever known. I was an aunt. The feelings of regret I was so sure I would carry forevah seemed silly… here she was, just hours old, and I was getting to hold her, and hug my brother, and sit by Andrea with complete gratefulness for what she'd made me a part of.
I think about that early morning now and laugh at how emotional and dramatic I was. Can you hear me? ForEVER, I'm going to regret it foreeeevvveeeer.
Oh, my sweetest niece, I'm glad we both like polka dot jammies. You make me smile foreeeeevveeer.
This little girl makes me proud to be an American, and so proud to be her Aunt.
{Thanks for the video, Andrea.}
1. Jump for joy
2. Jump in with both feet
3. There's always more after the Jump
4. If you don't like where you land, Bounce
5. Rely on your safety net
6. Hold hands and skip
7. Expect the bungee effect now and then
8. Careful not to jump around too much
9. Hold the rope sometimes so others can jump
10. Become good at jumping hurdles
11. Higher! Higher!
Life is like a trampoline, you gotta jump on it.
~Angela
Do you know how long it takes giant Chinese bamboo to grow as tall as a building? Some might answer it takes six weeks for bamboo to grow 90 feet, which is true. But they would be forgetting something.
Bamboo spends four years as a tiny plant, being watered and fertilized as its enormous root system is developing under the ground. Then in the fifth year, it shoots up to the sky, growing 90 feet in just six weeks. The plant must survive four years before it can grow at that rate.
On the other hand, do you know how long it takes an alfalfa seed to sprout and grow into one of the few known complete foods? About four days.
I can't really tie those two illustrations together except to say, I think I've been bamboo, but now I want to be a sprout.
The last two years for me have largely been about surviving. Not the cut-off-my-own-arm-with-a-pocket-knife kind of survival, but the survival of my spirit, the survival of my self, the survival of my soul. It hasn't been easy. Sometimes I felt like cutting off my own arm would have been easier, but I think we're finally coming to the other side of it, new and stronger and hopefully brighter.
{But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9}
Funny thing, though, in all the surviving, there was a lot of dying. So many things I had to come to terms with and let die, many things I had to completely surrender, many sacrifices (luckily, no appendages).
{Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18}
When you're in survival mode, you learn a lot about who you are and who you want to be, what you're made of, what you believe in and what is important to you. There's a stripping down of things to bare bones, to the very core, to the vulnerability of nakedness.
I've also witnessed miracles in a new way, both great and small, most all of them beyond my comprehension.
I experienced grace and mercy and heartache and joy, all in waves that brought me to my knees.
For all of this, I am thankful for my time of surviving.
{“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17}
I don't think I fully realized that I've been just surviving until recently. But I hope that seeing things from this perspective means I have, in fact, survived. I feel like I have. And so have decided the new year will be one of thriving.
{For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6}
Things may not go my way. I may not get what I want. I'm certain I will continue to struggle and face trials, learn and grow. And that's all okay.
I believe my life will have seasons of quiet ripening and seasons of surviving. But this January we are entering a season of thriving!
Will I look back on this post in a year, six months, even two weeks and think "good grief, that was that day I drank four cups of hot chocolate and got kind of crazy"? Ehn, maybe.
But for now, today, I'm going to be a little crazy and know God is faithful beyond my wildest imagination. I'm going to be brave, believe big and expect great things!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD... Jeremiah 29:11
Happy New Year, dear friends. Believe big. Be well.
Only four days until THE actual for-real Christmas Day!
Here's how I've been decking the halls.








