I find myself at a place where I, again, have to be gaping open and hurt to know healing. To feel the grace.

I am despearte for Him, but don't want to be. I want it to be easy. I don't want to hurt. I want to understand and have answers. I want to be right. I want to have what I want.

Why do I return to this place? When, I know this, I've been here before, He will make it right. He will take care of me.

But it's broken. I'm broken. My heart is broken.

So I'll be desperate, and once again, He will break my fall.