WE HAVE BLUE EYES

Have I ever told you, dear Internet, about the day this sweet girl was born?

My brother called me around 1 a.m. to tell me they were at the hospital. I was five hours away, and it was sleeting… so it was decided I ought not leave and drive five hours in the middle of the night on icy roads. So I waited as patiently as I could, pacing with excitement, taking a shower and packing my bag, calling my Mom for updates… Finally, 6 a.m. rolled around, the hour I would leave. About five minutes before I was to walk out the door, my Mom called… she was standing outside the delivery room… the baby was close, so close… then she said, It's here! We can hear it crying, it's here, it's here!

I completely broke down. I could hear my Dad laughing with joy… a few moments later my brother poked his head out to announce, "We got ourselves a little girl." I will never forget that moment. In one instant I was overwhelmed with total joy, and completely devastated that I wasn't there.

I was a mess. I thought for sure I was going to feel a huge weight of regret for the rest of my life that I was not standing in that waiting room the moment my first niece was born. I wanted to BE there, I wanted to see my brother's face as he became a father…

Five hours later I was holding the sweetest little baby I had ever known. I was an aunt. The feelings of regret I was so sure I would carry forevah seemed silly… here she was, just hours old, and I was getting to hold her, and hug my brother, and sit by Andrea with complete gratefulness for what she'd made me a part of.

I think about that early morning now and laugh at how emotional and dramatic I was. Can you hear me? ForEVER, I'm going to regret it foreeeevvveeeer.

Oh, my sweetest niece, I'm glad we both like polka dot jammies. You make me smile foreeeeevveeer.